


Xander's Magical Mystery Tour

by maryperk



Series: Wickedverse [3]
Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: BtVS 3, Other, Threesome - F/M/M, dream - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-15
Updated: 2013-02-15
Packaged: 2017-11-29 08:31:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,034
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/684928
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/maryperk/pseuds/maryperk
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After spying on Spike, Buffy, and Oz, Xander has a magical mystery tour.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Xander's Magical Mystery Tour

**Author's Note:**

> Betaed by Tasha

Chapter 1

Xander’s prick hurt. He hadn’t masturbated so much before in his life. Ever since his first voyeuristic adventure watching Buffy with Oz and the vampire Spike, he had been watching, waiting, and jerking his chicken on a daily basis.

“Damn, I’m hard again,” he muttered. Taking his cock in hand, Xander relived the scene he had watched just a few hours before at the abandoned church that the threesome used as a playground of debauchery.

_”Hello, boys, you ready for this?” Buffy asked in a sultry voice._

_Xander peeked out from his hiding spot to watch Buffy, who was dressed in a sexy outfit, strut back and forth on the dais that the minister normally preached from. He licked his lips in anticipation of what the Slayer had planned for him. He ignored the fact that if any of the three supernatural beings caught him watching them that they’d probably punish him quite painfully._

_“Come on, luv, strut your stuff,” Spike called out. “You said you could perform better than that skanky whore hittin’ on dog boy here at the Rusty Beaver last weekend. Time to put your money where your mouth is.”_

_Xander let out a quiet disdainful sniff. Buffy was letting Spike and Oz corrupt her, and he needed to get rid of their influence before she fell too far down into Hell._

_Buffy started to hum the tune to ‘Smoke in the Water’ while she made exaggerated sideways twitches of her hips. She fingered the lapels of the man’s button down shirt she was wearing. Her fingers slipped down to the buttons, and with each side ways bump of her hips she loosened a button until she was down to the spot where she had knotted the shirt over her bellybutton._

_Xander licked his lips when Buffy’s shirt gapped open, and he could see the swell of her breasts. Oh how he wanted to taste that soft, fragrant flesh. A shot of jealousy twisted through him. He continually told himself he wasn’t jealous. That he was just looking after Buffy’s best interests._

_Buffy slid her hands past the knot, and she smoothed her hands down the short skirt that adorned her pelvis._

_“Come on, baby, strut your stuff,” Spike said. He followed his words with a wolf whistle. “Show us what you can do with those Slayer muscles.”_

_Buffy’s hands caressed her hips while they slid around to the zipper on the back of the skirt. The meager garment slipped down Buffy’s legs to pool at her feet. She kicked the piece of fabric to Oz who brought it to his nose for a deep inhalation._

_Beneath the skirt, Buffy wore the skimpiest, tightest short shorts that Xander had ever seen on a female before. His cock hardened, and he couldn’t help loosening his zipper to take his cock in hand._

_“Slayer muscles, huh?” Buffy giggled. She gave Spike a ‘come hither’ finger gesture. “Come on up here, and I’ll show you some muscles, you big bad vampire.”_

_Xander gave a little growl. He didn’t want Spike anywhere near Buffy’s striptease. If she decided to entice the vampire to undress too, he knew he might have to heave. He hated seeing Spike and Oz naked. He just didn’t swing that way._

_Spike chuckled, and he winked at Oz. He wagged a finger at Buffy. “Uh, uh, uh, pet. You promised us a show, and you have entirely too many clothes on.”_

_Oz nodded. “Continue.”_

_“If you insist.” Buffy strutted around the dais, humming to herself while she teased her audience with several gymnastic moves._

_Xander wished Buffy would hurry up and take off her clothes. He’d never seen a real striptease before, but he was pretty sure they happened faster than Buffy’s._

_Finally Buffy flipped off the small stage, and she danced over to Spike. Bending over, she gave Xander a good view of the top of her breasts. “Untie my shirt, Spikey,” she cooed to the vampire._

_Xander stifled a gasp when Buffy’s shirt fell open to reveal…_

Xander felt his cock erupt all over his hand and belly. He lay back with a sigh while he grabbed a towel to clean up with. “Never figured Buffy for the nipple piercing type,” he muttered. “It’s pretty darned sexy.” 

Xander rolled over, and he fell instantly asleep.

“Wake up, Xander.” 

Someone shook Xander’s shoulder. He grumbled groggily, “Just a few more minutes.”

“Xander, we have to get off the train. We’re at the first mystery stop.”

Xander struggled to wakefulness when he realized it was Buffy talking to him. He sat up rubbing his eyes while he tried to figure out where he was. “Where are we? Did some demon attack?”

“Don’t be silly, sleepyhead. We’re on the mystery tour.” Buffy said. “We’re at our first stop, and we’re the last ones to get off the train.”

Xander looked at Buffy ready to tell her they couldn’t possibly be on a mystery tour or a train. “What’s wrong with you?” he gasped when he saw her.

Buffy looked down. “Whatever we’re doing is in the nude. Weird, huh?”

“But… but…” Xander spluttered. “You’re all blurry in parts. Your boobs.” He gestured wildly. “And down below.”

“Really?” Buffy looked down at herself. “Not to me, I’m not. Now hurry up. I want to get going.”

Xander felt some trepidation, but decided quickly if certain things were going to be hidden from others than it would be okay. He flung the covers back.

Buffy let out a wolf whistle. “Nice package, Xan. I never knew.”

Xander looked down, and realized his private parts were as blurry as Buffy’s. “What’s going on?”

“No clue, but let’s go.” Buffy grabbed Xander’s arm, and she dragged him from the compartment.

The first person Xander saw in the field next to the train was Oz. Thankfully the werewolf’s privates were blurred. “Hey Oz, what’s up?” 

Oz looked up. “My kite.”

Xander looked up. Sure enough there floating above Oz’s head was a beautiful blue kite with green leaves smattered across the surface. “Nice,” he commented.

“I have mine, mates,” Spike called out. He strolled up with a kite with black and red geometric patterns in his hands. “Now all I have to do is launch it.”

“Oh, it’s beautiful,” Buffy said.

Xander turned around to sneer at the vampire, but instead all he could manage was a disgusted gasp. Spike’s cock and balls weren’t blurred out like Oz’s or his own. “Cover that up!” he muttered with a grimace while pointed to the offending area. “No one wants to see that.”

Spike smirked. “But, Xander, that just means I’m the one for you.” He tossed the kite in the air in an exaggerated, sexy manner. The kite floated in the air above his head.

Xander backed up. “Oh no, no, no. I like girls way too much to want that.”

Buffy patted Xander on the arm. “It’s okay, Xander. Everyone wants Spike.” She looked Spike over again. “Naked.”

“I so do not!” Xander clutched at Buffy’s arm. He pulled her towards the man handing out the kites. “Let’s get our kites, Buffy, and stay away from him.” Then, he stopped up short. “So, if you can see mine, does that mean you’re the one for me?”

“Oh, I can see all the guys’ parts, even kite guy here.” Buffy eyed the man, who looked a lot like the late, unlamented Angelus. “Of course, his look just like yours.”

“Would you like a kite, Miss Summers?” the man asked.

“Oh, yes, please,” Buffy said with much enthusiasm. “I can’t wait to see what mine looks like.”

The man snapped his fingers, and in Buffy’s hands was a kite with yellow and orange swirls. 

“It’s beautiful. Thank you.” Buffy smiled at Xander. “I’m gonna go fly my kite.” She ran back over to where Spike and Oz stood chatting.

“You want your kite, Mr. Harris?” the Angel look alike asked.

Xander sighed. “I suppose.”

“Here you go.” The man snapped his fingers again, and Xander’s kite appeared.

Xander held the kite up with a grimace. “But, it’s so ugly. Liver colored and dirty mustard?”

“I pull the kite colors from your psyche, Mr. Harris. You obviously have some issues to work out. Now, go fly your kite, we don’t much time before we start the next leg of our mystery tour.”

“Fine!” Xander stomped off towards the others where he ignored Spike’s nudity to throw his kite in the air. It hovered in a sickly manner for a moment before it fell to the ground. “Now what?” he growled.

“You have to be happy for the kite to fly,” Buffy replied. “Think happy thoughts. Dance with me, Spike.” She held her arms out to the vampire.

Spike smirked. “I think I should dance with droopy boy here. He needs some happy thoughts to make his kite rise.” The vampire lowered his eyes to Xander’s crotch. He licked his lips in a seductive manner.

Xander pointed at Spike. “You stay away from me, you evil, soulless monster.” He turned to Buffy. “When you’re done, come find me.”

Buffy shrugged. “Okay. Dance with me, Oz.” She slipped into the young man’s arms, and they waltzed around the field. Their kites flitted and danced like their owners.

Xander stomped off towards the train. He ignored Spike’s wolf whistle that followed in his wake.

Sometime later, Xander heard a quiet knock on the door of his compartment. 

“Can I come in, Xander?” Buffy’s muffled voice asked.

“Is that _thing_ out there with you?” Xander asked in return.

“No, I don’t have your kite. Did you want to keep it?”

Xander opened the door. “I mean Spike.”

“Oh, he and Oz have gone on to the next stop on the tour.” Buffy smiled happily. “I so enjoyed the kites. I hope the next stop is just as fun.”

Xander opened his mouth to speak when the scene changed, and he found himself inside what looked like the Rusty Beaver, sitting at a table with Buffy and Oz. “What’s going on?”

“Spike’s gonna do a striptease for us since he’s the only one all of us can see,” Buffy answered. She watched the stage with rapt attention.

Beside Xander, Oz let out an enthusiastic grunt.

Xander jumped to his feet. “Let me out of this crazy place.” He raced over to what looked like the front door. When he flung it open, he found Spike on the other side.

“Hey, big boy. Come in and play awhile.” Spike gave Xander an exaggerated wink.

Xander slammed the door shut. Looking around, he hurried towards the men’s room. He slipped inside, and he leaned against the door panting.

“You here for a naughty bathroom blowjob?” Spike came around the wall that hid the commodes from the rest of the room. “I’m told I suck really good.” He licked his teeth while he smirked.

“AAAAAAA,” Xander screamed. His hand searched for the door handle behind him. “Let me wake up from this crazy dream.”

“Come on, Harris, I promise I won’t bite…” Spike winked. “Hard, that is.”

Xander let out another shriek.

“Alexander Lavelle Harris, if you wake up your father, there will be hell to pay.”

Xander jerked awake to find his mother bent over him. He glanced around the darkened room, but Spike was nowhere in sight. He let out a relieved breath. “Sorry, Mom,” he said softly. “Just a bad dream about showing up at school naked.”

“Well, that’s what you get for eating that nasty concoction you ordered from the Pizza House right before bed.” Mrs. Harris shoved her hair out of her face. “Go back to sleep now.”

“Sure, Mom.” After Mrs. Harris left his room, Xander laid back to try and suppress the dream he had just had. “Ugh, I hate this life.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*

“So, you think that’ll stop the Whelp from watchin’ what don’t belong to him?” Spike whispered to his mates while they snuck away from the Harris house.

“Not likely,” Oz said.

Buffy let out a chuckle. “Yeah, that’s why the next time he’s watching one of our little adventures Spike will be doing the stripping.”

The End


End file.
